Whats he building?

AO: PURPOSES AND AUDIENCES
Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
INDICATORS:constructs texts that show an awareness of purpose and audience through deliberate choice of content, language, and text form
conveys and sustains personal voice where appropriate.

Whats he building? by American Musician, Tom Waits is a very strange song. The listener/reader (& viewer-if you include the video) is made to feel uneasy. Tom Waits does this in many different ways. 

We noticed:

• Repetition 'Whats he building in there, what the hell is he building in there?'
• Unusual rhyme sequences-Sometimes 4 stanzas ABCB, sometimes a couplet AA, sometimes free verse.
• Uneasy content-A neighbour spying on a strange man next door.

 Click here for the lyrics

Finding Significance

We are looking at the ordinary everyday things we do, to find significance; to inspire us to write.

Mentor Text #1

James K. Baxter

This Town

The town was usual enough; it had
A creek, a bridge, a beach, a sky
Over it, and even a small tin church
I never went to. My brother, my cousins and I
Did what boys do - dozed in the hot
Schoolroom, made bows and arrows, dodged the mad
Boatbuilder, crept like rabbits through the black Under-runners with a weak torch,
Burnt dry rushes, wrestled or swam
Doing nothing important

James K Baxter

What do you notice? (padlet)

• How is the poem framed?
• Any unfamiliar words
• What do you notice about the punctuation? How is it used for effect?
• What is the writer trying to do?
• What time of the year is it? How do you know?
• What are the nouns? What about verbs? What do you notice about them?
• Where are we? How do you know?
• What does the town have?

Mentor Text #2

Playmates and Pastimes from Piano Rock by Gavin Bishop


What are your connections to the text?-Zero Draft your idea. 

We noticed that the poem by James K Baxter found the extraordinary within the ordinary. To complete a poem like JKB we decided:

• To use the first line (The ? was usual enough) but include something from ours lives (backyard, garage...)
• To include 5 nouns but describe the 5th better than the others
• Name some people/person doing what that person does
• Include a list of verbs and nouns (describing the things we do and where)
• Frame the poem with doing nothing important

EXAMPLES

Below are a link to a couple of examples. Check them out.

Harrison's is a good example of using colloquialisms and making it sound conversational 

Skye's lets us into a private world and has a depth of feeling

Nina's lets us experience the fun of just having fun

Hide and Seek

AO: IDEAS.Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics
INDICATORS: adds or changes details and comments to support ideas, showing thoughtful selection in the process. Communicates ideas clearly drawing on a range of sources

Worst hider ever?

The big idea with this piece of writing was that we could use any old experience and turn it into an exciting piece to write about. In this case, playing a game of hide and seek.

The first job here was to read James Norcliff's short story Coming ready or Not! And Vernon Scannell's poem Hide and Seek. Using an easy organiser, we could then pull our own bare bones of the story/poem from the text and use it to make our own connections in readiness for writing. See link here for what I mean

Hmmmm...I wonder where he could be?

Since I love both of these and they link beautifully, we may as well complete a reading task on them as well. Below in the 'useful links' is a copy of the 3 level guide that we used to find the literal & inferential ideas within the text, as well as applying our own connections.There's also a blank one. Take a copy.

Specific Focus 1: Creating Impact

How has Veron Scannell achieved 'Impact'. Click here for the link from Gail Loane's Book. Can we find any of these in James Norcliff's piece? For this task, your WALT is going to be to achieve impact. Your success criteria will be to use any of the ideas detailed in the list...so choose one and use it! You may find that you use other accidentally. Can we write a SOLO rubric for those that want it assessed?

Specific Focus 2: Crafting

I really want you to show evidence of being able to craft. This will mean having your piece finished and parking it. Then you need to share it with someone. Mr. Wood? A writing buddy? You need to ask yourself...

1. has your piece captured your experience in the way you intended? 
2. if not, what changes could you make?
3. what verbs could be replaced that have strong connotations?

Exemplars

Joseph's Hide and Seek (Audio)
Joseph's Hide and Seek (Text) 

Useful Links

The PLAN
Connections organiser

Hide & Seek by Vernon Scannell
Coming ready or not! by James Norcliff
Blank 3 Level Guide (for cloze)
Our example of the 3 Level Guide (for cloze)

Yesterday I had the Blues

AO: LANGUAGE FEATURES-Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
INDICATORS:uses a range of oral, written, and visual features to create meaning and effect and to sustain interest & uses a range of vocabulary to communicate precise meaning

During POWERwriting last year, Saxon wrote a short piece about being the colour black. It then made me look around the class and try to match colours to everyone!

It made me also think that some days are green days, some days are yellow days and some days are blue days.

What are the sorts of feelings that are linked to colours? (Today I'm feeling hollow after the Black Caps loss, I'm wearing black, but feeling grey)

Are we certain colours more often? When are we others?



After reading 

The Frame
Can you choose a different colour and font to extend the story line further?

That was Hanmer

AO: Language Features
Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.

Indicators
uses a range of oral, written, and visual features to create meaning and effect and to sustain interest
uses a range of vocabulary to communicate precise meaning


THAT WAS SUMMER by Marci Ridlon has a very easy frame to use. When we began to look at it deeper we noticed:

• Starts with a question
• Has a list of things that don't have to be related
• After the question in each stanza there are four actions or things happening within the question
• Senses are used near the end of each stanza
• Stanzas 1-3 finish with that was summer (repetition)
• Stanzas 2 & 3 begin with remember the time..?
• Stanza 4 begins with If you try really hard can you remember...

Begin first with a ZERO DRAFT. This is where only basic keys words are listed. Use a writers palette and add your key words there.

Examples

Luke's

A vignette

AO: LANGUAGE FEATURES-Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
INDICATORS-uses a range of oral, written, and visual features to create meaning and effect and to sustain interest

Vignette (pronounced vin yet) is a brief description, account or episode. Flash fiction is fiction with as little as 300 words and up to say 1000 and may have a protagonist, conflict, obstacles and complication (a short, short story in other words)

We are going to record a moment in our own lives as an 'Vignette' or 'Flash Fiction'. We have already recorded 'a memory' and tried to show a short moment in time, bringing it alive for our reader. This time we are going to tap into our experiences, find importance in them and then bring them alive using specific detail (showing not telling again!)

Click here for the 'Bare Bones' of a story.

Now read Beans by Patrica Grace

What has the author done to make it an effective piece of writing?

1. How has she made it sound like a child talking?
2. How does she make it seem as if she is talking to you directly? (a sense of audience)
3. Which part stays with you? Why?
4. Do you get a picture of the character and the scene?
5. What do we know about the boy?
6. What tells us how he is feeling?
7. What senses does the writer include?

Compare the "I play hard" from the 'bare bones' to the paragraph about 'playing hard'. Why is it more effective? Which part do you think you could rewrite and make your own?

When did you 'play hard'?

What would your listing sentence look like?

Visualise? Zero Draft?

Examples

Here are our examples of a 'zero draft' or 'bare bones', brainstorm.

Marz's
Jayni-Rose's
Josh's

Cullen's
Kaedyn's

How will we know that we have been successful? What will our success criteria be?

Useful Links

S.O.L.O Rubric

Structure and Language

Blog Links 

Marz's Vingette-'2nd Game'

50 word story

AO: PURPOSES AND AUDIENCES.Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.INDICATORS: constructs texts that show an awareness of purpose and audience through deliberate choice of content, language, and text form

This activity sounds simple, but it's not. To write a good 50 words story each word must be carefully considered. Because you only have fifty words,each word must 'pull its weight'. 

A good 50 word story will

• have sentences of different lengths (try starting with a very short one, followed by a much longer one)
• not repeat too many words
• have a 'twist' at the end.

 Kaedyn wrote this a couple of years ago...its still one of my favourite pieces of writing. Its a great example of all of the SC in his story 'The End"

Links

http://fiftywordstories.com/

Absolute Nonsense!

AO: PURPOSES AND AUDIENCES.Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
INDICATORS: constructs texts that show an awareness of purpose and audience through deliberate choice of content, language, and text form.

Just a simple one first up!!!...don't think, just write. It only needs to be a paragraph long. If you try to think too much about this one it will start making sense, which is not what you want. It needs to have a 'dream-like' quality to it.

That's it!


Useful links
Hannah's nonsense I love the imagery of the sharks sleeping peacefully in the fishbowl